What Self-Care Isn't
Photography by Sarah Halwani
If you’ve been following me for a while, you’re probably very aware that I’m a huge advocate for self-care. If you’re new around here… I’m a huge advocate for self-care! In the last 5 or 6 years, the importance of self-care (in various forms) in my daily life has grown, evolved and become more and more of a priority.
I try to incorporate some form of self-care into every day of my life. And self-care takes on many different forms! For me, self-care typically looks like a face mask, an anxiety-reducing bath, meditation, using essential oils, or reading… with other things sprinkled in here and there depending on the mood I’m in. While self-care takes many different forms (sometimes something like walking away from a hurtful conversation can be self-care, or saying “no” to something you don’t want to do) it’s important, too, to know what self-care isn’t.
There’s a lot of pressure these days to be ALL IN ALL THE TIME. I know that I often feel guilty on the days that I don’t make time to meditate or on the nights where I’m just too tired to wash my face and apply all of my skincare potions before bed. Sometimes when we get off track, even if just by one or two days, we throw in the towel and just say “forget it” completely. But, this is exactly the opposite of what self-care is about.
While, yes, consistency in your self-care routines is important, it’s more than okay to have an off day here and there. To sleep in instead of waking up early to workout… to watch trashy TV instead of reading a book… to stay out late and forget to take your makeup off when you get home.
And here’s why:
Self-care is not beating ourselves up for failing to be “perfect”. Self-care is moving through life knowing that there will be days where we fall short… and being okay with it. Self-care is not throwing in the towel after one or two “off” days. Self-care is picking up where you left off after you’ve had an off day and trusting that all is not lost because of one slip-up. Self-care is not following trends. Self-care is trying new things so you can find what works for you, while moving on from what doesn’t… even if the thing that supposedly works for everyone else isn’t working for you.
Self-care is not holding on to your routines and practices so tightly that you can’t allow yourself to enjoy the spontaneous moments in life. Self-care is living in the moment, moving through your days with ease, adapting to the unavoidable change that will come your way and adjusting your routines accordingly (even when that means skipping them). Self-care is not holding on to a practice because it served you before even though it doesn’t feel “right” anymore. Self-care is being able to let things go when you know they are no longer serving you, so that you can make room for the new.
To wrap this up: self-care is not forcing… or settling for… anything that doesn’t serve your greatest good or completely light you up from the inside out… a job, relationships, friendships, diets, workouts, meditation, yoga, medication, supplements, books, TV shows… I could go on all day, but I think you get the idea.
Self-care is flowing. Self-care is trial and error until you find what really works for you. Self-care is know that this looks different for every. single. person. Self-care is making decisions that put you on the path to your greatest potential, your highest self. And finally, self-care is not settling for anything less than that.
I hope that you can take something away from this that allows you to be less hard on yourself… especially with the holiday weekend approaching! Use this time to enjoy some self-care… but to also relax and listen to your body! Rest if you need to. Have a drink (or two or three or how ever many you want) and stay up past your bedtime. Remember, it’s not about being perfect… it’s about showing up for yourself every day… regardless of what that looks like.
xo,
Kelsey