4 Ways You Can Support a Friend Who Struggles with Anxiety

If you’re anything like me, you might be the type of person who will do anything in their power to help a friend or family member when they need us. Whether they need a favor, someone to lean on while going through a rough patch, or simply just someone to vent to, we want to be there for them! But what happens when a friend comes to us with something we can’t relate to? Something we don’t have any experience dealing with? Or maybe even worse… something that we simply don’t understand? It sucks, right… feeling so helpless? Wanting to be able to offer advice, but not knowing what to say?

Anxiety is one of those things that if you don’t struggle with yourself, it can be very difficult to relate to, and ultimately support, a friend who does. You may worry about saying the right or wrong thing… maybe you’re not sure if you should try to talk it through or offer them a distraction… or maybe you just don’t get what it is that’s bothering them so much.

Personally, I have a few people that I know I can rely on to be there for me when I’m experiencing anxiety and my most “helpful” friends during these times aren’t necessarily the most helpful because they have anxiety, too, but because they come from a place of understanding (even if they don’t “get it” in the literal sense). Anxiety in all its forms is very common these days, so it’s likely that you have a friend (or two or three) who lives with anxiety, and if you want to help but aren’t sure how, here are 4 ways you can be supportive, regardless of if you can relate or not:

1. Empathize with them. As much as you can, really try to empathize, even if their specific worry seems “silly” or ridiculous to you. Phrases like, “I totally get why you’re feeling anxious” or “it must be hard to worry about blank so much” can really go a long way, and can show your friend that even though you might not be able to directly relate to what they’re going through, you can still appreciate where they’re coming from. The last thing you want to do is make them feel as if their feelings aren’t valid.

2. Don’t try to minimize what they’re experiencing. On some level, most people who struggle with anxiety know that their anxiety isn’t 100% rational. That’s kinda the point. Even if your intentions are good, trying to tell someone that things aren’t as bad as they think, it’s not a big deal or not to worry about it really isn’t helpful (even if you’re coming from a good place) and can make them feel even worse.

3. Help them face their fears. Many people who struggle with anxiety use avoidance as a coping mechanism (I am a living, breathing example of this kind of anxious). They’ll avoid places, people, and certain situations in an effort to stop being anxious… it’s the whole “out of sight, out of mind” mentality. But in reality, this actually only helps to maintain & reinforce the anxiety that they feel when presented with those circumstances, and while it may seem counterintuitive, encouraging them to face their fears & expose themselves to the situations that are making them anxious can actually help them overcome their anxiety.

4. Listen. It’s simple, but it’s honestly the best thing that you can do, especially if this whole anxiety thing is foreign to you. Ask questions… what is your friend worried about? What does anxiety feel like to them? What kind of support do they need? When they answer… listen. Not only to what they’re saying, but to what they might not be saying, as well. Sometimes just having a friend lend an ear, whether they can offer true “help” or not, is the best medicine for someone who has found themselves lost in a sea of anxiety.

Ultimately, what it comes down to, is just being there. Anxiety can strike at any time, in any setting, under any circumstances, and speaking from experience, just knowing that I have a few people in my life who will simply be there for me when I find myself slipping into an anxious mindset is the most comforting thing I can think of. Someone once said… “I get by with a little help from my friends”… and I really think they were onto something.