Disconnecting to Reconnect to Yourself
Photography by Sabrina Hill
Hey everyone! Hope you’re all having a great week. Today I wanted to chat a little about one of my favorite ways to manage anxiety that is always so effective for me: turning off my f*cking phone.
A couple of weekends ago, I went camping in Idyllwild, this super cute mountain town about 100 miles just southeast of LA, and while I was there I had my phone in airplane mode the entire time… and it was so, so, soooo refreshing. I’ve done my fair share of “digital detoxes” over the last few years, typically just for a night after I’ve had a stressful day or for a few days while camping. When I went to Cuba 4 years ago I was disconnected (not entirely by choice) for a whole week and because of that, had one of the best, most memorable vacations of my life.
It was on that trip to Cuba that I realized how important it is to take time away from the little "world” that lives within our phones. This world that keeps us connected to everyone and everything at all times isn’t actually real, but we can get lost in it so easily. When I didn’t have the option to be posting photos, checking my notifications or answering texts/calls, I was fully and completely present with my surroundings, the experiences I was having and the people I was having these experiences with. And it was a game changer for me.
When you’re not constantly checking your phone, your mind is able to focus on the present, which is really the only thing that we have. As you may know, a classic symptom of anxiety is a constant worry about the future, so when you don’t have to think about anything except who and what is right in front of you, your anxiety can take a back seat and you can feel more at ease and less anxious about what may or may not happen in the next moment. Turning off your phone removes the “noise” and the variables you believe to be at play, and allows you to be truly present.
For me, as someone who struggles with anxiety, I feel the need to respond to every message I receive immediately so that the person sending it doesn’t get upset with me or think that I’m ignoring them. I check my Instagram constantly just to be sure I haven’t missed an update or message (or mostly just out of pure boredom). Having the opportunity to remove myself from all of the noise really helps to ground and re-center me.
Our phones can trigger a variety of emotions, especially when they’re attached to our hands 24/7. We can become easily distracted and overwhelmed by a flood of text messages that come in all at once (hellooooo group texts) or anxiety can be stirred up over a text message or phone call that we haven’t received. Our phones put us in reactivity mode, which can make even the least anxious person a little bit antsy.
It’s also important to take breaks from social media in general because, again, what’s happening on social media isn’t always real. Although we might feel more connected sometimes, social media actually disconnects us from reality. It almost forces us to compare our lives to those of celebrities,“influencers”, our friends, acquaintances and even complete strangers. For many of us, seeing the “perfect” lives of people on the internet can make us anxious about our own lives… anxious that we’re not doing enough, that we’re not where we’re “supposed” to be, that we’re not pretty, skinny, cool, fun, fit enough… you get the idea.
Over the last year, it’s definitely been more difficult to step away from technology simply because there hasn’t been much else for us to do. With everything constantly changing, it’s easy to be glued to our phone, waiting for the next update to come rolling in. I don’t know about you, but grabbing my phone, opening Instagram and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling is something I do automatically now - it’s not even conscious anymore. Which is honestly sad.
Every time I do a digital detox (especially one that lasts for at least 48 hours) I come out on the other side feeling relaxed and refreshed. During my camping trip, I wasn’t sitting around worrying about this or that. I was so in the moment that it was as if all of my so-called “problems” had just faded away. I felt so connected to nature, my boyfriend, and most importantly, myself.
And when I feel connected to myself, my anxiety leaves my body.
So, if you’re finding yourself in a bit of a funk, feeling anxious or like you just need everything to S T O P for a little while so that you can re-center, and move forward in a positive direction… turn off your f*cking phone.
You don’t need to be extreme and do it for an entire week (but if you can I highly recommend it)… but you can start small. If this is new for you, maybe try going into airplane mode for an hour each night before bed and for an hour in the morning while you’re starting your day. You could try “No Phone Fridays” or maybe plan one weekend per month where you don’t check social media.
If you have a vacation coming up, consider disconnecting for the duration of your trip - this is extra effective if you’re vacationing somewhere in nature… the mountains, the desert, the beach. You’ll be able to actually relax, and you’ll also be able to experience everything a little more deeply, which can be extremely refreshing and eye-opening for those of us living in a world where we constantly have our heads down.
Have you done a digital detox before? How did you feel after? If not, are you planning on it? Would love to hear from you in the comments!
xo,
Kelsey
P.S. If you’re struggling with anxiety, I work one-on-one with clients to help them discover the root cause(s) of their anxiety and show them how to manage it long-term. You can read more about my offerings here. Please reach out to me at kelseycookwellness@gmail.com if you’re interested in learning more and finding out which course of action is best for you.